It's exactly 1.08AM. I'm sitting on my computer AGAIN. I was just in the balcony some minutes ago... just looking out and wondering, when this sudden flow of lyrics hit me. For people who don't know, i write a lot of songs and poems. Anyway, i thought i might as well write them down here and copy them into my diary later. I'm kind of sleepy anyway.
I'm really confused. I don't even know if this qualifies as a poem. It's 3 verses after all. I don't know what to call it. It makes a lot of sense to me though. I don't even know what my source of inspiration was (there is always a source of inspiration for any poem/song) - the view from my balcony isn't inspiring AT ALL. I need feedback on this one.
Endless pain, a gap in faith
I wonder when hope prevails
So many more till this date
sorrow and catastrophe
Where's the joy - why the hate?
They won't budge from the moor.
They need an answer this night,
The scarlet hue still spreads around
Why must it - this isn't right,
Ask - a hard net to place,
Maybe two more, just another fight
All for the money - for the greed.
Would this call for an intervention?
They now know what they need to see -
A mirror, show them a reflection,
A little help is always needed.
Just a little more, a little determination,
This phase should end - they'll return soon.
PS : Like i said, i'm a little confused :S...
17 comments:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....tol u your poems r good....+D i kinda gt wt his means...hmmm,,,
**this
man ur really good at this.....i luved it...keep on writin!!!!!!!
well...as you already know i love all ur songs and poems....this one is really really good..but ive not yet got what it means...
sitting in your balcony...the only view you get is construction...i doubt you drew inspiration from that!
i'm still confused.....
Great poem...great post...never give up on writing!(don't be a giver upper!:D lol!)
Hey!
My interpretation of the poem was a lil weird.. However there were bits that did make sense to me. But wait. Then again I neever understand anyones poetry (*COUGH*NISHANT*COUGH*COUGH*)
BUT HEY! So we were both confused and thinking at the same time. My constant confusion and frustration really gets to me sometimes. Just when you think you have everything figured out... Suddenly you realize that by figuring things out it makes things even more confusing. =S
Talk about being confused. That didn't even make sense!
Hey shalu !! Loved the poem ... It brought out the fact that you were confused at that time ... as you were jumping from one thing to another !
I liked the poem .... though a little bit of improvising could be done !
Loved it !!
HEY! SHMALAlala ! I just realized that the arch enemy didn’t get a mention :O !!
Well. Just to inform everyone, The Valentines, people who are actually trying to MAKE SOMETHING of valentines day.. Is way better than Stupid Cupid. PFFT ! =p
sshhalluuu...my lil huggyy friieenndd...ahhhh...wat can i say...yes indeed i am as confusd as u or nyone hu read this...a sudden mix of emotions came by as i tried 2 comprehend ur poem...which btw is very lovley...it reely goes with the song im lstenin 2 at the moment...blends amazinly well with piano playin in he background...its boston btw, the song (thnx radhii)...lovely song...nyway..gettin bak 2 ur post..i jus read it once, so i wud like 2 read a couple of times before i can actually comment on it...but very written...lookin forward 2 some more brilliantly written poems...:D
An amazing poem. Yes it shows ur confused emotions, and the confused state of mind we all can be during certain situations.
Well written, please post up more of ur poems/songs :D
I understood it. Just one question though. Is it society or emotion?
One more thing,
"They won't budge from the moor" kind of disturbs the flow. You should include it in the next paragraph, and complete the first one. Not bad.
I liked it.
Hello!
Thanks everyone! Shruthi - WHERE have you been??!!
Radhi : Stupid Cupid rules! I shall post a V'day comment near/on V'day! Then we shall see who is better:P!
Nishant : It's about society. Thank you - I'll do that. I think you're right!:D!
hey..
ssup??
lol tokin to u on da fone..
nyways poems nice..U ryte well..dint knw..
nice bt i find the ending a bit abrupt..
Good attempt..
-Trisha(3sha)
hey!! its a good poem..im not vry fond of poems so i dunno wht 2 say..but yea u said dat it makes sense to u..so hu cares-if u hv d confidence in u, u can go a very looong way..
besides-half d poems in diz world dnt make sense (unless u hv a guide or sumdin nxt 2 u)
soo yea..
neways waitin to see ur next post!!
keep smilin :)
You have poetic talent! Keep it up!!!
i had exactly the same question as Nishant did.
I guess it's answered.
Left me thinking....always a good sign. Keep it up.:D
Jo
Indeee i agree wid Deepak kini o dis 1 u do have a poetic talent! i ju enjoyed reading uor poem. i kompletly agree wid 2nd verse last line !!! keep it up and u will defenitly get ahead in life
with best regard
StRaNgEr 92 KL
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