You know the saying, "Forgive and forget"?
It's not always so easy to do that, is it?
I've always wanted to follow that saying. It's a simpler route. I mastered the first part - "Forgive". But the second part is another story. Forgetting is just really hard to do. It's pretty easy to forgive someone but it isn't that simple to forget what they did.
It's not always so easy to do that, is it?
I've always wanted to follow that saying. It's a simpler route. I mastered the first part - "Forgive". But the second part is another story. Forgetting is just really hard to do. It's pretty easy to forgive someone but it isn't that simple to forget what they did.
If someone makes a mistake (especially one that concerns me), I've always found it easy to forgive them. But even after a long period of time, I would still remember what that person did. I'm not mad at him/her at all, I just haven't forgotten what he/she did. Believe me, I've tried. I've tried HARD. But to no avail. I just can't bring myself to forget their mistake. I guess that's okay but it gets pretty annoying - To harbour no resentment, yet not be able to forget the cause for the initial resentment.
It's so much easier to forget - many a time you don't want to remember any bad history with a certain person. But it does resurface from time to time.
When I say I can't forget what the person did in the first place, I don't mean that everytime I talk to the person, I remember the person's mistake. I mean that occasionally (maybe even rarely), it does cross my mind and that ruins everything for a while. Not that I bring it up again (sometimes the past is better buried), but it's on my conscious mind when I want it completely out of my entire mind - conscious or subconscious.
How come forgiving is so easy (atleast for me) but forgetting proves to be a challenge??
Note : This post is NOT directed at any specific person.
19 comments:
forgive and forget....its hard. we gotta deal with it...forgiveness and forgetting go hand in hand. Its the only way to lead a life without holding a grudge against anyone...
nice post...made me think.alot.
Good post.... we have a few people who forgive & forget... a good amount of people who forgive & dont forget... A few people who forget & don't forgive .. COZ THEY FORGET !! ( im referring to dumbasses ) .. & a few people who do neither... im one who forgives & doesn't forget
Good post.... U GO LITTLE GIRL
SLAYER ROCKs . Sunny
'forgive and forget'these are words that are hard to follow(like rayna said).....but i dont agree with sunny totally becuz ppl who forgive & forget most of the time are the ones who are really bothered by the situation and dont want to show their feelings or start a fight......i mostly forgive & don't forget!!!!
anyways it was areally good post...hv fun in india!!
Hmm. I don't agree.
Forgiving MEANS forgetting.
If you don't forget something, it means that you're still holding it against them, which means you haven't really forgiven them. which means gurl.. you need closure lolll.
People change.
People grow.
i think its hard to forget cuz we always 'TRY' to forget...and when we try to do something the brain remembers what it is that we have to forget...so hence we cannot forget..and besides if other people kep bringing it up how could we forget?
I can never ever in my life "forgive or forget"..But now ive started to forgive and forget thanx to someone..
Nyways nice post..
-Trisha
SHALAKA.
Lol It's very annoying when people don't reply to comments so hurry up =P
Good post.i agree forgiving s a lot easier. but if u trully forgive someone u forget what they did.
--Jaya
Thanks:)!
Radhi,
Forgetting is forgetting that incident ever occured. Okay - that made NO sense. But hopefully you got my drift. I forgive easily. I don't hold anything against 'the person'(example). But if someone brings it up, I still remember. It's hard to forget COMPLETELY.
"When I say I can't forget what the person did in the first place, I don't mean that everytime I talk to the person, I remember the person's mistake."
I rest my case:P.
Thanks:).
id have 2 agree with radhii...good statement she made...though a very thought provoking post...i liked it :)...n id say if there are certain sayings i do follow in life, this is definately one of them...im probably one of the most forgiving person :p and that i gess comes with how gullible i happen to be :PP...i also do tend 2 4get quite easily, but thats only frends, cuz ive never had them hurt as such..nut my family, its completely different story...i gess vre still surviving cuz in the end we love each other too much...so yea...nice post again :))
my gosh so many language errors!! but** not nut!! and excuze the rest of my messed up english..i cant reelly notice im going wrong wen im typin :S
I agree wid rayna, radhi forgivng and forgetting go hand in hand, and without forgettin there is no forgiving....
However though it may be a verbal forgiveness...forgettig is definately the harder part, as it is the part where all the work has to be done from your part..
-love mini, nice post=.)
Respected all,
I do not believe forgetting is a crime! There is no harm in not forgetting 'an incident' or 'a situation'. Every person is entitled to remember anything that affects them to the point of memory.
If a person has said something that may have offended you or done something to that effect, there is no rhyme or reason for you to have to forget what the person said/did. Remembering what happenned is only a measure of how grave the offense was. Do not suppress it. I ask that you welcome it.
Perhaps, I'm a radical. But there's nothing wrong with it. If your friend has offended you so, you should not feel guilty about remembering his/her offense even if you have forgiven the person. Let that memory stay in your mind and let the person do what it takes to earn back your trust.
Your relationship with that person was built on trust. What the person did has broken that trust. Trust is an absolute value. When it is broken, you will know that it IS broken! Therefore you remember it.
If I was responsible for everything that happenned in and around my life - I must be God. I am responsible for what I say or what I have done. If there exists close friendship, I am responsible for what they have done. I cannot be held responsible for what X, Y or Z has said to me.
Forgive the person. Don't worry about forgetting the incident. The onus now shifts to the person who caused the offense to erase any memory about it. It isn't your fault that you still remember what your friend may have said or done - its his fault or its her fault for having said or done what they have.
Hey shalaka !
Hmm. You've misunderstood the expression. Obviously you can't erase an incident from your memory.. You can just forget the fact that it mattered, and move on.
Adithyay.. ur boring
The blogauthor doesn't seem to think so.
Yes, I don't.
I think they're very interesting!
- Sorry for the extra comment. It published itself:P.
Adhitya , Your boring
Yes .. Forgive & forget .. but u can't completely forget .. that's what i meant ... in comment #2
When I say I can't forget what the person did in the first place, I don't mean that everytime I talk to the person, I remember the person's mistake."
Shalaka's thing is exactly what i do & what i mean.
- Good post
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